You're only as good as...

Okay - so I have a few guilty pleasures. Nothing major or life threatening.

Well, at least they aren't threatening my life. I guess I can't really speak for every one else who shares in these same guilty pleasures.

But I have recently started watching a few *gasp* reality television shows.

I know!

I know!

And to tell you the truth I'm not even sure how it all happened! Chopped is just a great show... Project Runway and Food Network Star just kind of snuck up on me... And before I knew it I just had to know.

Would Josh win? Would Jeff be the next Food Network Star? Who would be Chopped?

Who was I going to look for at my favorite dress shops? And what crazy new recipes would I be able to run away with from the new show?

It's just all too much! And I just had to know. DVR - don't fail me now!

And now I bet you're wondering just what all this has to do with anything, right?

I'm right, aren't I?

Well, there's one thing that they say in almost every episode of all these different shows...

"You're only as good as your last ______________."

Go ahead, fill in the blank with anything you like that relates to your field:

... design.
... dress.
... meal.
... cookbook.

... novel.

Ack!

Yes, that's right. You're only as good as your last novel. And this thought has me completely freaked out. What if my novel isn't that great? I mean, what if I think it's great and everyone else thinks that it sucks?

And let's face it - almost every time the judges on Project Runway announce who is out - I get pissed because it's always my favorite designer. Clearly, my taste does not match the taste of the professionals - the experts who truly know what they're doing.

What if it's barely mediocre?

And even worse... what if my novel never gets finished?

I have been wracking my brain trying to fit in the time and imagination between school and work and writing. I don't know how every one else has always been able to do this - because I really do think that I might just lose it soon.

But, as they also say on each of these shows:

"I didn't come here to lose... "